| Job hunting |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|04:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
At first I couldn't find a job now I have two places that want me. Price chopper has pretty much said that I have the job. All I have to do is go in tomorrow and fill out the paperwork, but Best Buy called me yesterday. So tomorrow I can either go to price chopper or to bestbuy. Honestly I would rather go to bestbuy. I would really like to work with computers and BestBuy at least has computers in the store. on the other hand price chopper is an almost guarenteed job. I really need to call and cancel one of them tonight but I don't know which. I hate making decisions like this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2006|10:40 pm] |
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.
1. "in the land of twilight, under the moon" - Yuki Kajiura
2. "End of all hope" - Nightwish
3. "Tetris techno (remix)" - DJ Venom
4. "Moonlight Sonata" - Beethoven
5. "Stricken" - Disturbed
6. "Injection of Love (Hina mix)" - Akira Yamaoka
7. "tourniquet" - Evanescence
I would have had seven people but melissa took most of mine. v.v (all three of them.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2006|10:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
I feel it necessairy to post here because I haven't posted in a while. I think we will make this a game of how many reply's can we leave. everyone just leave a comment, dosen't matter how random. whoever leaves the most comments (myself excluded) wins two buckets of love. |
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| Yay for Ramen! |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|11:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | computer whirr | ] |
I have been trying to find something to eat for about two hours. I would have just gone out to the store to get something but I am completely broke. I have about seventy cents in my wallet. I honestly can't wait for tomorrow; I get paid, but thats kinda branching off from my topic. as I was just about to give up looking for food and admit defeat, I found my ramen stash. Yes, Ramen stash. It is a stockpile of ramen (ok so it about six packages)to be used incase of emergency,A.K.A. being to broke to afford anything else. so now I am happy, cause I get ramen. No longer will my stomach plauge my mind, telling it that I require sustanance. It is even the good kind, Maruchan, because top tastes like wet cardboard. |
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| Feeling better |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|10:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Headached | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
although I don't feel as good as I could I am feeling alot better. I talked to Ema today and we are still friends. I didn't end up getting Ice cream. instead I went to a graduation, where I got a flower, and now I am sitting here debating on going to hang out with my friends ian, Jake and Andrew, or just going to bed. Kinda swinging twards the sleep side. Hopefully things will get better from here. maybe I'll take like two hours and download some AMV on my dial up. of course when I finaly get it downloaded I'll find out that it was a horrible video and didn't fit the song at all. Either way things are looking better. |
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| Something to post |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|11:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hello - Evanescence | ] |
It seems like I never post when I have something good to say. Tonight is no exception. I feel incredably ill, like my stomach is burning. I don't like it, but I know its just an emotion thing. once I get my emotions under control it will stop... easier said than done. I think I am going to go to sleep relatively early for once, and even sleep late. who knows, maybe I just won't wake up. |
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| one thirty in the mornng! |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|01:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Whisper - evanescence | ] |
It's one thirty in the morning and I thought I would give a middle of the night rant! The one problem is that I don't know what to rant about. So instead I will leave you all the mental image of me doing a jig in a tutu. |
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| The movies |
[May. 29th, 2006|01:58 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | at my home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Taking over me - Evanescence | ] |
went to see over the hedge tonight. I really didn't think I was going to like it, being just a kids movie, but it was amazing. I honestly don't think a kid would really understand it. I loved the squirrel and the raccoon wasn't that bad either. My favorite part was twards the end. but I am not going to give it away to anyone who hasn't seen it. if you know me ( and what a caffiene fiend I am) you will know it when you see it. yeah I Had a blast tonight, but at the moment it is way past my bedtime and since I am trying to get more sleep I really need to stop being online and go to sleep. |
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| ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! |
[May. 25th, 2006|03:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mischievous | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Daft Punk - Alive | ] |
The darkness flowing within him slowly builds, an energy that consumes all that he was. slowly he begins to transform. his skin turns as pale as the moonlight, his eyes gain a reddish hue. The darkness moves further in, he can feel himself dying. as the darkness consumes the last of his soul. he looks out on the night that will never end. he stands up, noticing how easily and gracefully he can move. the wound on his neck has now healed and is only a faint scar. suddenly it hits him, the uncontrolable lust for blood. as he looks down at the city lights he lets out a demonic howl of laughter that echo's throughout the streets. everyone who hears it runs but that is the way he wants it. the thrill is in the chase. |
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| Nightmares |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|08:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Creepy sound effects and the fridge | ] |
Has anyone, other than Melissa, played a game called Fatal Frame?
I just bought the third one, Fatal Frame III the tormented. I just started playing it. that game is scary as hell. I didn't get five minutes into it before I was like "Oh god please let me find a save point!" I didn't really know what was going on because in the beginning there is a little movie cinema and then it throws you into this old haunted house with noting but a camera, and the whole first bit is in this wierd sepia tint with all of the traditional horror camera angles. The only plot that you get before you start is that your fiance died in a car accident and you, being the driver at the time, were responsible. I think that part of the reason I am so freaked out is because I am at home, alone, in the middle of the night, playing a horror game that has relavant ties to dreaming. I'm not trying to say that I'm not a wuss or anything, because I am. I'm just trying to explain the extremity of my terror. Every now and then I'll hear this sound in the other room and I'll frease for second and think, I'm in my house alone so what the hell is making that noise. thats when I remember that my refrigorator is possessed by demonic spirits, but since it can't move, all the spirits can do is shake it every now and then.
this is so much different than watching it being played. I have a friend that bought the first two, and he made a big party out of playing them. It was really fun, but safe. you had no control of what was happening. if the character was killed it wasn't you dying it was someone else, and for some reason that made it ok, but when you are playing it at home, by your self, you (in this situation I)tend to develope a connection with the character. They become an extension of you. and there is some deep down fear that they have connected with you more than you would like. and then the question arises, "what happens when they die?" logically you know that if the character dies you can just start over at your last save point, but you just can't shake the feeling that this game has somehow connected with your soul and that if something were to effect this character in the game it might have a similar effect on you in this reality. after all who says that the person with the controller in their hand is really the one in contorl of the game. You could be the one being controled and the character is bending you to its will, and if you really are being controled who's to say that it isn't possible that when the person controling you dies you don't just cease to be?
That isn't really even why I was scared, it was just my chain of thought, one thing led to another. The real reason for my fear is that they put you in this old spooky japanese mansion with nothing but a flashlight and a camera and you follow your dead fiance around while ghosts randomly apear out of nowhere. at first you don't even have the camera that will hurt them so all you can really do is run. and every now and then you will hear some one wisper someting and when you look around no one is there. It really looks like it is going to be a good game but I need to get a little further into it, begin to realise that it is just a game and that there is no creepy figure standing outside of my window that disapears when I try to look at it.
I think that I am going to stick to playing this game in the morning for a while. I won't get so scared and I can wind down at work, that place is boring enough to drain the fear of god from the pope... or something like that. now this whole thing may sound like I'm just being paranoid, but I would rather consider it as me thinking out the worst case scenario: dying due to playing a video game. I know its unlikely, but wouldn't it be just my luck to find out that I have a weak heart just as something slightly transparent comes floating around the corner and being home alone no one would find me for at least an hour. plenty of time for my body to use up all of the oxygen in my blood.
Now that I've discussed all of the bad things that could happen from playing this game I think I'm going to see how far I can get in it before I have to get away from it. I'm giving it about ten minutes before it scares me to the point that I won't sleep tonight. By the way, melissa, I seemed to have singled you out. sorry about that. feel free to hate me forever. |
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| Things have changed |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|03:12 am] |
I have just changed my AIM name to:
aPriestOfRathma
Because I changed my OS and didn't remember my password. So if you get a message from someone strange it will probably be me. |
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| The good news is the bad news |
[Aug. 5th, 2005|12:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Freedom cry - Deep forest | ] |
Today I got a job working for WAT. It's cool because I get to work with programming and stuff, but I really feel like I've gotten myself in way over my head. I've been trying to learn C++ for a while now and it's kinda been more like a hobby than anything else. It's something that I want to learn but I had planned on taking my dear sweet time in doing it, now I have to learn visual basic so that I can understand what I'm supposed to be doing but it's completely different from C++ and I'm not even that good at that. I feel like I'm going to dissapoint my boss and make a fool of myself. Now I feel like my life is too crammed and I am never going to get to see Ema and I am going to become a workaholic and I'm going to die when I'm thirty due to stress related illnesses, and they will burry me in an unmarked grave where no one will mourn for me. Just thinking about it makes me stress out even more. I wish I knew more than I do, Or that I was a faster reader, both would help. I think it is probably about time I find some visual basic tutorials, goodbye. |
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| Re-arranging |
[Jul. 19th, 2005|11:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | random | ] |
I bought a computer desk yesterday. I got it home and started putting it together around sixish. It took so long, I stopped for about two hours to visit with Ema, and stayed up until three trying to put the whole thing together. It all works now and it helps to make my room a litte more organized but it takes up like three quarters of the room. I guess it really dosen't matter. I don't use the room for anything but sleeping anyway, I think it will be a good change, it's definately going to take some getting used to but all in all it works.
I have to work today but I really don't want to, it's no fun anymore and it hasn't been for about a year. I need to get a new job. I think I'm going to just apply to random places untill I can find one that either pays better or has more benifits than just a ten percent discount. I don't think they are giong to hire me but I want to apply to Borders. They have an amazing discount but the pay sucks. If I could work it out so that I was working two jobs it might be plausable. I would probably only earn enough to pay for all the books I bought. I anyone has any good ideas I'm all ears. |
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| Today is tomorrows yesterday |
[Jul. 16th, 2005|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Trance | ] |
I got to sleep in until nine today, it was the first time all week. Ema and I went over to gregs today. We drank tea, played on his computer, and over all had a good time. He has the most amazing keyboard! Its like this little rubber mat that you can bend and it feels so cool. I have no idea why I think it's so amazing but I guess thats just the way I am.
Yesterday we all went out to borders after work It was really fun. I got a new book, but I'm not going to start it until I have finished at least one of the books that I am currently working on. I am currently working on somewhere around nine books at the moment. I need to get a new tea pot. I had one but it is broken at the moment and I have no way of making large amounts of tea at once
I like being able to make a whole pot, it lasts so much longer than just a cup.
well, many things to do, and books to read. |
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| Today |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|12:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Some cool native americanish thing | ] |
There are so many things to do but still for some reason I'm always bored. I have at least five books that I could be reading but they are all informational and kind of dull, then there are the video games that I have but they make me feel like I should be reading, and of course I could always excorsize but for some reason there's always something I can think of that I would rather do... that is until I actually go to do it, then it's like anything else.
On a better note Ema gets back this weekend! She has only been gone for three days but I still miss her so much. I don't even want to think of how much I am going to miss her by friday.
I didn't really sleep that much last night. Sean was over. Tonight I am going over to his house. I'm not really sure what we are going to do but I dout that I will get to much more sleep. Sean spent the whole night trying to beat my Last turn deck. Out of over fifty duels he beat it about three times. He tried every deck he had and none of them could beat it.
and now for all thoes people who really don't care about any of the last paragraph.... um.... nope, can't think of anything.
anyway, I think I'm going to get a new ddr pad today. The one I have is getting kind of worn out. it's funny because my old pad was one that came wiht the game and it outlasted everyone elses, even a Red Octane. Things like that make me smile.
Well I hope That everyone is having a good day. Ema, If you call tonight I'll be at my cell-phone number. I'll try to call you after work because I don't know if I'll have service at Seans. See everyone later! |
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| steel reinforced dream catcher |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|01:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing but my thoughts. | ] |
Wow! there were soo many people online at almost two in the morning. I got to talk to so many of my friends. I got to talk to my love (Ema), Greg, Sean, and Shara (not spelled right). In my conversation witht the latter we talked about dreams. It made me remember the dreams I used to have, and to miss them. I used to have so many dreams. dreams about everything. Frome everyday things to the end of the world, but for some reason as I got older the dreams just stoped coming. I don't think it's possible to just stop dreaming, I mean your brain has to be doing something while you are asleep but for some reason I never feel like I have had a dream, not even one that I can't remember. I have had about one dream this year. I don't even know what it was about. It makes me sad that I can't do something as seemingly simple as dream. I never get the mental release that seems to keep everyone sane. I don't know if I would be any different if I were to dream but I would love it if I could some how find out. I would even accept nightmares, anything would be better than nothing. It's not really that important but then again nothing I have to say ever really is. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|01:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Immortal by evenescense | ] |
Why does losing something feel so bad. I had a dog when I was really little, like still in a high-chair little. As far as I was conserned it was the best dog in the world. Of corse, back then I really didn't have anything to judge value by. I have no idea how long we had the dog for. It felt like years although I know it couldn't have been that long. We have always rented and my mother never likes to stay in one place for more than a year. One day she told me that we were moving. it was nothing new to me at that point, I was pretty used to it. Then she told me that we would have to get rid of the dog, his name was spike, and we would need to find him a new owner. I was devistated. I don't remember being able to think of anything else. there was no end to how sad I felt. I still feel sad when I think about it even though It must have been at least sixteen years ago. I don't really know why I brought it up. It was just on my mind. sorry. |
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| Yay! |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|01:46 am] |
|
Tomorrow I get to have so much fun. I get to hang out with Ema all day. In the morning though I think I am going to paint my computer, that is if I can find some masking tape. As I was leaving work I found some new spray-paint. Its all metallic. There were three choices of color: red, blue, and purple. I was kind of leaning twords blue but my friend told me I should get purple, so I did. I don't know how it's going to look but it will definately be different. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2005|10:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Feel good inc. by gorrillaz | ] |
Every day is different but everry day is the same. It is summer and I haven't dome anything that I wouldn't have done if it had been another school day. That is, of course wiht the exception of sleeping late. It hasn't really hit me yet that I am never going back to high-school. I is so wierd,I have been going to school for the majority of my life, and now I'm not. oh well, I guess I'll just have to deal with it. |
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